A world without love.

Do you remember that song from the 60's "A world without love?" The refrain is something like "I don't care what they say, I won't stay in a world without love." I was thinking about those lyrics the other day when I was reading a posting on OneMillionMoms.com, a project of the American Family Association. It was my first time to the site, I found the link somewhere by (big) mistake.

The posting said:
OMM is extremely disturbed by the HBO documentary film, "A Family Is A Family Is A Family," a Rosie O'Donnell Celebration that aired last night. Not only did it reference strongly that there are so many combinations that could make up a family, but it emphasized you could have two moms or two dads. The most disgusting of all is that this ad and program were aimed to appeal to children while desensitizing them to what is an acceptable makeup of a family. Sure, family situations are unique and different when families are blessed with adoption, and there are many grandparents now that play the role as parent. However, as Christians we must draw the line when others portray homosexuality as okay when it is not Biblically correct.

Oh boy oh boy!

I saw the documentary and I plan on showing it my children. In A FAMILY IS A FAMILY, kids offer touching, profound and often funny insights about what being a family means to them. Among those featured are: children with two fathers or two mothers; a girl whose mother and father adopted her in China; three brothers who live with their mother and grandmother; a pair of mothers who are getting married to make one big family; and families with adopted kids and children born through in-vitro fertilization.

Why, WHY do some Christians think it is okay to deny homosexuals a world with love? How can we know where God's grace begins and ends? Why is it okay to go around and vilify an entire group of people simply because of who they love?

Why would anyone want their children to be so intolerant towards another group of people.

Listen - stop all the judgement and just love. It's not that hard to do!

6 months ago...

6 months ago today I became a mom for the third time. We took this picture of E on the day the judge in Volgograd granted our adoption:



This is E today:



It still amazes me daily that I have a daughter.

Nightmare

For the past two nights or so I have been waking from these awful dreams. In them, I die. The kids are left without me and I see them growing not remembering who I am. I am not sure if hubs is around he isn't in the dreams, and I wake up in a panicked state.

What.the.hell is that about!?

Even typing this now I could cry. Obviously I can't predict the future but GOD, could you imagine that!? No - not happening but still....wow! Who the heck would "dream" something like that. Thinking about the nightmare makes me panic. Is that totally morbid to think about our own mortality? I do know that I am not concerned about where I will spend eternity, its more about the children being here without me.

I guess this further proves what I have known for awhile....I need some therapy. :)

I would just like to say....

I find the "mom race" so freaking annoying! For months I hear "Is E walking yet?" "She is not walking yet?" Seriously how hard is it to remember E was adopted and spent a year living in an orphanage where they did not let her crawl! She had a heart condition and they were scared to let her do anything!

Today I hear - "Is E walking yet?"

I happily answered, "Why yes she is."

To which I get "How is her talking?"

Oh lord, give me a break!

I am not running this race!

18 months, a little late

E turned 18 months 11 days ago and had her wellness check-up last week. She weighs 21.5 pounds and her height is 31.5 inches. She is in the 10th percentile for weight and 50th for height! Pretty cool that she is on the charts! N was in the -3 percentile for about a year after he came home.

E is walking about 50% of the time, still faster for her to crawl. She has also learned to stand without holding onto something. A few weeks ago we had her tested for early intervention services, which I highly recommend for any child that spent time in an orphanage, and to qualify she had to be 40% delayed in one area, or 25% delayed in 2. E was about 25% delayed in all three areas of her development. I am excited for her to begin services next month. I am sure they won't last long, she catches on pretty quickly.

Since N had his birthday party in September, J has been talking non-stop about his birthday party....in June. Every day he asks me when he can have his party and every day I remind him that June is months away. Today in the car, we once again have the conversation.

J: I can have a party in June?

Me: Yes, what kind of party do you want?

J: A Buzz Lightyear birthday. (I sure hope Publix makes a Toy Story cake!)

Me: Okay, what types of games do you want to play?

J: Give presents to J and open.

Huh?

Like most of the world's citizens, watching the news from Haiti is absolutely breaking my heart. Especially the orphans. The entire situation is awful. Tonight I am watching "Hope for Haiti" and playing around on facebook. I see this post from a friend:

"Hope for Haiti?? what about Hope for America? I feel bad for people in Haiti but why aren't these Americans with money raising money to help our own crisis?? "

Huh? I stared at the computer screen just baffled that someone would say that. I know that everyone has their own opinions and I truly do like this person but for real?

All I could type in response was "wow" to which I get "We have our own troubles that should be taken care of first. High jobless rate, housing foreclosures, helathcare issues, etc." And you know the saddest part, at least 5 people agreed with him.

Oh lord! Since I can remember I have been a person who feels deeply. Is it a blessing or a curse that I am so affected by those in need or anyone who is not treated equally? I can't turn a blind eye to suffering. I can't turn it off and pretend it is not happening. I dwell on it, I cry out, I want to give all I have. I have to be pulled back to earth sometimes. I don't mean to "toot my own horn" but I truly can't understand how people can't see why we need to help the citizens of Haiti, NOW!

Yes, Americans have problems, as does every other country, but doesn't being a citizen of the world mean helping out when there is a true need?! These people are dying, they have nothing. No food, no water, no family, no medicine, no homes. They are the weakest among us, they need to be taken care.

As Rosie O'Donnell says "In every situation you have two choices: faith or fear." I chose to have faith that most Americans can understand why our needs should be shelved for awhile. I hope most people get that. If not, what have we become!

Chapter 1

I recently announced on facebook that I would be writing a book. I was half kidding but you never know, right? I really have no idea if it would be fiction or non, about my life or something else entirely. This afternoon while making dinner I did come up with the first chapter of my imaginary book: "Why does the shit ALWAYS hit the fan while I am making dinner?"

It seems to me that there is always some big problem with the kids going down while I am cooking their dinner! I mean, I guess it is too much to ask for 20 minutes of peace and quiet from a 5, 3, and 1 year old. Don't they know that I am concentrating! I am not one of those people who can cook with a "dash of this" and a "smidge of that." I need to read a recipe at least 5 times before I start. I need to psych myself up and say a little prayer. As you know, an advanced chef I am not.

Last week during dinner, J pushed E down the stairs. He says it was an accident but I don't believe him. Tonight, the toilet was clogged. Nothing like cleaning up toilet water and then having to continue making dinner! Then the garbage disposal broke. Oh and of course we can't forget the tooth incident and the head stitches, both during dinner.

I guess the lesson I have learned tonight, albeit a little too late, is that I must find some constructive way for the children to pass the time while I can't entertain them. If all else fails, there is always Duct tape!